How to Stop Comparing Your Life to Others

Why my life can't be like that…

1.Change your focus from outside to inside

It's not easy to turn your gaze from outside to inside, but it's worth it. You should stop comparing your life to others, because you are the only person you need to validate yourself. I know that might sound like a crazy idea, but it's true.

However, that would be a difficult idea to integrate into your life if you've never tried it, or if you're so afraid of it that you're cowering at the thought of being in a relationship with yourself. It's a good place to start by sitting with yourself, whether through meditation, diary, movement, or some other kind of intentional reflection.

Begin by asking yourself, "What are the external influences that I have allowed to guide my life — intentionally or accidentally? Think about it, or write about it.

Then, give yourself some time to imagine what it would be like to be unmoved by external forces, opinions, or thoughts — draw or write down what that reality would be like to you. While this work is ongoing, this is a great starting point that you can always come back to when you feel that you're getting sucked in by these external influences. 2.


2.Limiting Your Consumption

It's easy to get caught in a comparison trap when you're constantly looking for validation outside of yourself.
Limit the time of your screen if you want to stop comparing your life to others. Use your phone tracker to minimize the amount of time you spend on social media online. The images you see there are often highly-curated and seemingly perfect moments in life, otherwise messy and real.

Trust me, these people aren't living examples of perfection, they're just crafty people who have stored content for drip release over time.

 

3.Choose a Source of Grounding Inspiration

It's all right to have one or two people you're looking for inspiration.
This could provide some external guidance for your journey. You don't have to be a famous person like Deepak Chopra or Oprah. They could be a yoga teacher, a mentor, a good friend, someone in your industry, or someone on a similar journey. It can be helpful to turn to them as a resource when you feel off your game or if you're losing track of your journey and starting to get sucked back into the mind-numbing rat race.

 

4.Cultivate a sense of joy in detaching yourself from the success of others

Seeing others succeed is not supposed to shake your world.
Even if you think they're doing the same thing as you, their successes and struggles are their own. Stop comparing your life to others, because you're all experiencing different things. Cultivating detachment around the journey of others will help to free you from the feeling that you have to measure your progress against theirs.

Cultivating a sense of genuine joy in their progress will help you celebrate your own progress. When you're happy with others, it makes it easier for you to be happy with yourself.

When you are willing to recognize the wins of others, no matter how small, it allows you to recognize your incremental wins, too.

 

Final Thought

Proactive self-validation and reflection are the cures for avoiding a comparative trap.
This is easier said than done, however. There will be ups and downs on your journey if you want to stop comparing yourself to others.

But if you make your focus internal, limit your consumption of ultra-curated social media, pick a ground-breaking source of inspiration, and work to cultivate joy and detachment for the success of others, then you've already made a big step in the right direction.


François Assock

3 Blog posts

Comments